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Christmas 2002….. To My Angel Brother Matthew
SHHH!
Baby Sleeping.
Lord is taking his soul to a better place.
SHHH! Don’t worry everything is going to be alright,
For he will have Peace and Joy up in Heaven.
SHHH! Fear not for the Lord is there nothing will be wrong.
Your time will come and you will see him again!
Author Darren Parker 10yrs old
Darren Jr. is Matthew's oldest brother. Little Darren is what
we call him, but as for his brother's he requested to be
called nothing but "BROTHER!" He is proud to be the
oldest brother, and carries the title very well.... As normal
as any older sibling would act. (Bossy but very loving and
protective) Little Darren was just 3 weeks away from being 6,
don't ever underestimate a child at 6. Darren and I let him
make his own decisions for the funeral, we really didn't think
he would do as much as he did. For the viewing we explained
how much different Matthew looked and how we were not laying
him in the casket, that we were holding him. Little Darren
choose to be in the viewing room, and even held Matthew with
the help of mommy and daddy, and as he handed Matthew back to
us, he gave him a KISS! We were so proud of our SON, he was so
strong! Little Darren even attended the funeral as his own
decision. As a mother I thought for sure this would later have
an effect on him by having nightmare's, but I could not even
begin to imagine him blaming us later for not letting him be
involved and let him make his own choice's. I was wrong, if
anything it was the best decision we did, Little Darren is
never confused where Matthew is, and never ever regrets what
he did. Actually today at age 10, he very happy with his
decisions, I ask him now and then if it bothered him?
"No way Mom" So as of now I am glad for Darren's and I
decision.
Little Darren started writing short stories about 3 years ago
for class, Super Pig, was his first. Then before we knew it he
was writing short Christian stories for our church. Then came
short stories about Matthew. I think it's his way of healing.
The poem above was written For me on Christmas day.
Arren is also Matthew's older brother, Arren was just 14 days
shy of being 4. We didn't give him much of a choice, except
for the funeral, and he chose to stay home with the
babysitter, and play with the other cousins that chose not to
go. I don't regret our decision, but for the first couple of
years he was very confused, why is Matthew dead, where did he
go, what is death, and when will he be back. And no matter how
much we would explain, he would ask the same questions over
and over. He has stopped now that he is older. I think he has
more of understanding, which I think church has helped him
allot there. But Arren never forgets to add Matthew in
anything.... if he is asked how many brother's and sister's he
has, he involves Matthew every time, and even at times I have
to explain about Matthew to friends or teacher's. Some tell me
he talks about him as if he is still alive.
I call Us 4
Darren ~Me~ Little D~ Arren
TRUE SURVIVOR'S!
ONE AWESOME TEAM!
We all helped one another in different ways.. and even at
times when we didn't think we were....... We were!!!
If it wasn't for Darren and Arren I don't think I could have
went on, no matter what I had to do it for them. They
still needed a Mommy! And for Daddy he had to return back work
for the sake of the family. As much as we would all have loved
the world to stop with our pain! But life doesn't work that
way. So we teamed up together and went on. Never the same! We
knew now we were all different in some way, with each other,
with friends, and family.
Darren and Arren or Defiantly Sibling Survivors!
Right after we finally moved back home, I was going through my
depression, and not sleeping all so well. So of course we
recruit to the computer to look for about every answer there
is to SIDS. SO while I was doing this I ran across a poetry
website... Since I could not write poems myself, I asked this
guy from the website to write one for me...... This was done
just a few months after we lost Matthew.
Hi
We just recently lost a son to SIDS, and both my boys
experienced
it, It has been very hard on them, and they have been scared,
and it
is hard for my husband and I to help them, still trying to
heal
ourselves, we do the best we can, but when we start trying to
explain it to them we start crying ourselves, and my husband
and I would just love to express how much they mean to us and
how strong they have been, and how much help they have been
for mommy and daddy, because if it wasn't for them two it
would be hard to go each and everyday. There only 6 and 4 now
but I feel like a poem for them later when they do get older
will see how much we love them and how strong they were.
Darren Odus Tommy Parker-6
Arren Jason Parker-4
Brother that passed away Matthew Lee Parker. July 7th 1998 to
Aug.
30th 1998
Father Darren Parker
Mother Debbi Parker
Thank you very much Debbi
Arren and
Darren
How do you explain,
with a heart that is breaking ?
How do you explain,
the reason Matthew was taken ?
It has been so hard on my boys,
and they have been scared stiff,
they've started asking the question,
the question; "What If ?"
But they have been so strong,
and I just want them to know,
that we will look out for them,
we'll look after them as they grow.
And they also need to be told,
(and these words are long overdue),
that they have been the strength,
that has helped pull us through.
Because we love them both,
we love them so very dear,
and we love Matthew too,
his memory will always be here.
But life has to go on,
just like it has before,
and we will love our three boys.
Guaranteed - and for evermore.
Copyright
Allen Jesson 1998
Click on his name
to go to his Website....
Hi, Thank you so much for that beautiful poem, it was so nice
of you,
and yes you may add whatever you like to your site, I am just
so excited
I got it, I think it will help them in the future as for us!
Thank you again:
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